Theresa Lear Levine picture

Why do i continually fall short and self-sabotage

All right. So, why do we keep falling short of our desired results? 

Because whether you self-sabotage your plans to get certain work done, you skip your workout, you waste your valuable time binging Netflix, to eat foods that don’t align with your weight loss goals, or you simply just don’t give your all or push yourself fully.

When you work on something that you know deep down is important to you and that is going to make your life amazing, You repeatedly find yourself falling short of where you want to be, right? It’s enough to make you feel like your goals were impossible or that, gosh, that maybe you’re just incapable of achieving them all together.

And why does this happen?

I mean, I can’t think of anybody that is exempt from this. We all literally have areas of our life where this shows up. And typically we know exactly what we need to do to not be in the place that we keep landing ourselves in. 

So why do we keep ending up there?

I work with a lot of women who feel like just because they know something they should be able to follow through with it and do it.

But it’s never that easy, and you don’t have to feel like a failure because of that. I mean, if knowing something meant that we could easily make it happen and bring it to fruition in our lives, well, we’d all be like super fit, healthy millionaires, right? Our beliefs and actions confined themselves out of alignment quite often honestly. And this is a phenomenon known as psychological reversal.

And it’s exactly what’s happening when we eat food that’s not in our diet, when we skip our workouts, when we just don’t follow through with something and when we self-sabotage and, I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but there are several archetypes that we all share.

And one of them is known as the saboteur.

I learned a lot about this from the teachings of Caroline Mace. When dealing with archetypes in private sessions with my clients, they often ask me how they could get rid of their saboteur. 

But that’s not the point.

This archetype is actually here to protect us and we need to kind of release it from that role. Sometimes it wants us to be safe and oftentimes it tries a serious clear of things that it thinks are putting us in danger. It runs on low self-esteem and fear, and that results in issues that cause you to make choices that block your own empowerment and success.But deep down, you’re just trying to keep yourself safe.

You may not even consciously realize it. Perhaps you have fears about accomplishing the goal you keep falling short of. Perhaps accomplishing. It means you’re going to need to work more, work harder. Perhaps it means that people will think differently of you, or it’ll disrupt a dynamic that’s been comfortable for you for a very long time. Maybe it’ll change the relationship that you’re afraid of, you’re afraid of what that might be like. Maybe you feel overwhelmed by just the sheer magnitude of the task, or feel like an impostor trying to do what you’re trying to do.

There’s so many underlying reasons that your subconscious may be telling you that your choice is not a safe one. I always tell my clients that are struggling with getting health and fitness results, that it’s not about the food or the workouts.

If that’s not working, it’s about negative emotions that are blocking the pathway to success. I love doing work with people on their inner saboteur. It’s usually really eye opening and empowering. And while closely related faulty thinking, fear of intimacy, fear of rejection and just plain simple procrastination and avoidance are also big reasons why you might be falling short of the results that you want.

So as you work to recognize and collapse the negative emotions and that voice of your inner saboteur, there is a simple action steps you can also put in place to get the results. You want to make it easier to do them. These are the practical things that you can kind of force yourself to do while you’re working out the underlying emotional stuff. But you got to remember this – if you don’t work out the underlying emotional stuff, these action steps are like a facade, and they’re not gonna work for you for long.

For instance, you could make a foolproof plan so that you don’t miss your workout by its scheduling it into your day. You can plan your grocery list ahead of time so that you don’t buy food you don’t wanna have in the house. These things were helpful if you’re falling short with health and fitness goals. With work related stuff, you could create a list of three important things that you’re going to do before you do any fluffy stuff in your day. And that could be a great way to make sure that you’re not falling short on or procrastinating with work productivity, your income goals. 

You can also make a not-to-do list and start establishing different rules for yourself. So that you create habits and figure out things you don’t want to be part of your habits.

Finally, examine your desire to be perfect. If you’re trying to be perfectionistic or if you’re overthinking things, you may fail to even start what it is that you want to finish.

And if you don’t start well, you can’t finish right.

So allow yourself to make imperfect action towards whatever your goal is, and realize the value of a growth mindset. Because as you fail forward, it becomes less scary and you gain more skills and ability that help you with that self sabotage, even if you’re exposing weaknesses along the way. So just remember it literally happens to all of us.

 And the answers almost always lie in the way that we talk to ourselves and those underlying current of emotions.

So pay attention to them because once you can release and collapse them, you’ll find yourself achieving goals you never imagined. If you’re interested in learning more about EFT,  and how that can help you to do this very thing, Comment below and reach out to me. It has been a game changer for me and getting to know my inner saboteur, healing my negative emotions and being able to move forward with things I used to constantly avoid or fall short with. Oftentimes that forward momentum is exactly what we’re lacking and figuring out how to and figuring out how to regain it in your life that is incredibly valuable.